The Road of Recovery

Ever since I came home I never understood what it meant to be hitting rock bottom. Many people I know in a similar situation like me have been there and have stayed there at the bottom. I want to put it out there that you're never alone. No matter where you're in your journey in recovery or even when you're starting recovery you're strong and courageous.  I remember when I was starting to realize how weak and helpless I felt like I couldn't do anything in my life. Now being home and in recovery I don't know how I would be if I didn't have the support I have no idea where I'd be. Hitting rock bottom seems like you're drowning and can't breathe.  If there is anyone out there reading this who needs someone to understand.. I am here. I'm willing to listen. I'm willing to talk. I have been through the  a few times and have survived. You're never alone. Please if you're like me right now stuck indoors with nothing to do, just remember t...

I wanted this weeks post to be pretty short and sweet. However, there isn't a lot for me to talk about but there is a lot for me to think. So why not just write what I am thinking and embrase how I am feeling.  Since we have been stuck inside with our families. I'm beginning to feel really tired,a burden, like I'm not needed around. Now before you whoever is reading this thinks I'm suicidal I'm not. I've been completely healthy with that idea for now a year. But the feeling of depression and anxiety do exist, and I feel it all everyday, and all hours of the day.  My depression and anxiety have run my life for years. I have struggled with finding a new normal. This quarantine has really scraped on scabs that I didn't want to pick, and scars that I wanted to forget. Memories that haunt my dreams every night. This sucks! I feel trapped, like I can't breathe. My room is starting to feel like a never ending cage. I'm a caged animal and its becoming more d...

Ok.. So I have been trying to be an Independent Beauty Consultant for a cosmetics company called Mary Kay. Now I don't want you reading this think I'm trying to sell you something with this post, cause I am not. I just want to express how this opportunity has changed my life. I used to think I'd be working a 9-5 job and living ony own by this stage of my life. But being home for a year working hard on my health and my education, I got the opportunity to start my own small business. I know right now its hard for many different businesseas cause of the COVID-19 Virus. I know this personally because a  friend of mine can't work hers Photograohy buisness because of the virus which sucks big time. So being a part of a company that is still available is amazing! I am so blessed, even though I haven't done much regarding this but I am going in the right direction. Mary Kay had provided me an outlit that I have been needing since I have been home. I was told by a few medica...

Ever since COVID-19 became a pandemic here in the US, my mental health and stability has taken a bit of a downward spiral. Staying indoors to help not spread the virus is 100% a good thing, however for an extrovert like myself not so much. I understand it is all for safety measures and to make sure we can stop the death toll from increasing. I just think it's insane to have to stay locked up, my own home is starting to feel like a prison but I actually have to like my fellow "inmates".  It's hard to think I've been told not to isolate and now I have to... It's frustrating and difficult.  Its a real struggle trying to stay positive and not going back into my old way of thinking about life, trying to move forward even though it feels like the world has hit the pause button for now. I have started to really take this blog thing more seriously as I am working through this craziness. Another thing is for those who do read my blog if there are any suggestions ...

Its been one year to the day that I moved home from Tucson Arizona to Rio Rancho New Mexico due to mental health. Its been one crazy year.. I went from hating the world and myself to now hating the world due to the virus but loving myself,working hard and living life to the fullest. From therapies to medication. Going to groups and being involved with everyone I can. Right now it is crazy regarding being told to stay in doors when I worked for a year to stay away from isolation. I am super proud of myself for all of the hard work I have done. The path I am on now is better than before. I look back and see what I could've done better however, I honestly wouldn't change anything. Even though it might sound crazy but its the truth. If I didn't go through the storm and trials I did, I believe I wouldn't be here today. I went from being suicidal to going to college, starting my business with Mary Kay, working with my friend on photography.  I am blessed for my crazy in order...

     In times like this, I sit back and think..What the hell is going on in today's age? As we continue to know little about this virus the more the hysteria continues. I being an immuned compromised I am really being affected by this. I am now stuck in my own house doing homework, school pretty much everything. I know the caution is needed due to the fact it is contagious. However causing hysteria, hoarding things like toilet paper and paper towels are absolutely insane and ridiculous. There are people out there right now as you're reading who don't have anything they need because people are buying it all. Some are elderly in need of not only toilet paper.           Being known as a young adult in this craziness known as COVID-19, think about how we're treating these people who need more help than I and I just am slightly disappointed in how we're. If I could I'd buy groceries for those elderly that need it the most. I really hope that after a...

Throughout my life, I have always lived pretty close by those I truly love and care for. Recently since I moved home to get treatment and to start a life that I couldn't even imagine, I now have friends who live not 3-5 miles but over 500 or more. I also have a family. Living in New Mexico is amazing, I love it here it is home and always will be no matter where I am in the world, No having family and friends who live miles away is pretty tough. I mean I can't just go over to see them any time I want. I have to think about the time difference most of the time and well the schedule of each person too. I'm no longer in high school where we can just hang out and not worry about things. Now we are all adults with our lives in different paths on the journey, For me though having the family and friends that I do here in town and not has really given me a different perspective on the thought of what it really means to be a true friend or what really counts as family. In my def...