The feeling of being unworthy

Through my journey of recovery, I have gotten to points where I don't feel like I am even worthy of all the hard work everyone has placed in me. When I came home in 2019, I felt there was nothing I could do to be better. I was not wanting to be in treatment. I thought I was unqualified, unwilling and not even worth the time.

These three things running through my head no longer exist now. Its been almost a year that I have returned home and I have realized after going through the motions that I am qualified, willing and worth the time it takes to work hard to make it through each and every program I am involved at this time. I attend a group, individual therapy. There are medications involved and a lot of coping skills learned and used throughout my life.

Before I came home feeling these types of feelings began to take over and create a dark and cold existence. While I sit here in front of my laptop writing this I have been seeing memories on Facebook from this time a year ago, that dark, cold feeling began to slowly creep up every now and then making me feel like I was at the bottom again. I take a moment and remember what is coming next in my life.

Now back to the thoughts of being unqualified, unwilling and unworthy. Why these words? Well because these are words that are muttered in the mind of someone who struggles with the fact they are needing the mental help. I never thought I was worthy of any help or event the chance. I actually appreciate the fact that my parents rescued me when they did. I was pretty dark and close to ending my life. It was a miracle of God that I am sitting here writing this blog post.

I never thought I would be here, writing and telling my story and being an advocate for many others like me. I am here to tell you that you're worthy for help and treatment. There are no qualifications needed, just ask for help and you shall receive it. Please reach out and ask!