Heartbreak and Mental Illness

Last year around this time I was very emotionally not strong enough to handle a ton of different things.. Its now almost been a year and I am dealing with something I never thought I would be. My relationship of 2 1/2 years is over. Even though it hurts and it sucks like so much. I'm slightly relieved that we're no longer in a serious romantic relationship. 

After a lot of consideration and thinking my bf of 2 1/2 broke up with me.. I know kinda a shitty move the day after Valentines day. However, he needed to. It was what was best for him and his mental well being. 

Having different mental illnesses myself if this happened a year ago, I would've been in a hospital under suicide watch due to having my heart broken by someone I cared for. Now I still and will always love this boy.. I have no hard feeling or anything against him. He is my best friend and that isn't changing. 

But the fact I can look at myself as realize I would've been under suicide watch amazes me on how far I have come with my recovery. It hurts and it isn't fun going thru a break up but the fact I am not spiralling out of control is something to be proud of. I can make it thru stuff that changes in my life without going to the dark place. I'm patting myself on the back for moving forward and continuing my recovery process no matter what changes. 

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